Helping Your Child to Become More Global and International. #2
Last week we mentioned that there are ways that you as parents can help your children to become more global and international. This week we will look at Developing Self-belief.....
Our future is determined by what we believe about our Self. Children with self-belief and self-confidence will take risks with their learning, and challenge themselves to be their very best. This is sometimes referred to as having a "growth mindset", rather than a "fixed mindset".
Our belief in our Self comes from the appreciation and approval of others...........
As children grow up, their sense of their place in the world is constructed from their interactions with it. Every experience is stored and processed, and their reactions to them all add up to create their personalities.
Nobody sees the world quite the same way, especially children, so it is important that our actions around children are thoughtful and considered, A word or gesture that means little to an adult can be very significant and even damaging, to a small child.
Self-belief controls our motivation to perform life's tasks...........
Many educators now think that a child who believes they are not good at sport will not succeed. If a child learns that "there are no failures, only learning experiences", then they learn that to do their best will be good enough. This gives the child a "growth mindset".
We must be able to trust in ourselves so that we can trust in others...........
Studies of bullies and other people with anti-social behavior show that such people have a poor belief in themselves. They believe they are failures as human beings, and take out their frustrations on others. They cannot trust themselves to succeed. When a child learns that making a mistake is normal, and that we can learn to do better from it, they learn to trust themselves, and ultimately, trust others.
We can only respect other people when we respect ourselves.............
Psychologists have long known that ill-managed people have a poor self belief.
Again, subconsciously, they think that if they do not deserve respect (from themselves) then nobody else should be respected. We can teach our children self-respect by praising their achievements, and showing them how to reflect when things do not go to plan. The most important thing we can do is to show children, by our actions that every other person
should be respected, not just family members and other "important" people in our lives.
Confident people take on challenges.............
When we know that failure is normal, and that success comes through perseverance, we take on life's challenges. Confident children are those who believe in themselves. They have learned that they can succeed if they try, and, if their efforts are not enough, it does not make them a lesser person.
Creative people are risk takers.............
Fear of falling makes us "play safe". It limits our creativity. Children are naturally creative. It is only if they learn that being creative causes problems for adults that they stifle their creativity. Children, who know that it is okay to make a mistake, as long as they learn from it, believe in themselves. They keep experiencing, which is the basis of creativity.
Self confidence is essential for independence.............
Small children always want to do more than they are capable of. They want to be independent. If adults create a safe environment for children to push their boundaries, they learn that they can do thing by themselves. They believe that they are resourceful and resilient.
Reflection reinforces our self confidence.............
When a child learns that every action (or inaction) is their choice, and that the consequences are their responsibility, they develop a powerful self belief. They do not blame others when things do not happen the way they wish. Teaching a child to think about what they have done, and to look for alternative actions sets them on the path to a strong self belief. Reflecting about good consequences and not–so-good teaches a child that they are in control of their world.
Reflection reinforces our self confidence.............
It is very easy to erode a person's self image. A careless word or action from a significant person in a child's life can do a lot pf emotional damage. It is difficult, but nowhere near impossible, to improve the self belief of a child who believes they are a failure. The starting point is for the child to learn that their worth as a person is separate from their deeds. A parent whose child's actions demonstrates a poor self image must love their child unconditionally. There are consequences for every action, including negative ones, for the child, but they must experience constant frequent demonstrations of love from their parents.
We show our love and appreciation for others by the time we spend with them.............
All parents want their children to have a better life than they did. Many parents make the mistakes of confusing a 'better life" with more material goods. Children need their parents' time, not possessions. Children who do things with a parent particularly what the child wants to do, believe that they are loved and appreciated. They believe that they are "someone".
The most crucial thing a parent can do is to be with their child, watch them, talk to them and listen to them. Taking them to school, to sports and clubs, playing games with them, reading with them and helping them with their homework are some of the many activities that teach them that they are important. Love your children for who they are, not for what you want them to be.
Five Simple Strategies for building a positive Self Belief in your child:
- Be nice to your child always-make positive statements, or say nothing.
- Be nice to everyone-model respect of all other people to your child.
- Your child makes no mistakes-there are only things to learn from, and there are consequences which are not always positive.
- Read/tell positive stories to your child.
- Give your child a hug as often as possible
Developing Good Character.............
Our true character is shown by how we treat all other people.
Good Character is essential.............
Human beings are social creatures, because of our intelligence, conscience and sense of ethics. We shouldn't judge a person based on his or her outer appearance and other superficial attributes.
We all want to have a successful life. Many people assume, without questions, that success is essentially material, that it can be measured in money, prestige or an abundance of possessions There can certainly play a role, but having such things is no guarantee of happiness. The success for which we should strive is the ability to love and have compassion, the capacity to feel joy and spread it to others, the security of knowing that one's life serves the purpose.
People judge us by our character and not just by our appearance, but what do people Mean by character? Character is the sum of all quantities that make us who we are.
It's our values, our thoughts, our words, our actions. Why is it important that we should develop strong character traits?
Many attributes contribute to our individual character. Building on these elements can help give us a stronger character. Our true character is shown by how we treat all other people.
Care about people. Think about how our actions will affect others.............
Showing compassion, an awareness of other people's problems and a desire to help others can involve our family, friends, or total strangers. People are concerned about themselves, and it is important for them to feel that others also care about them. Helping people get through their daily traits and sharing their victories results in them Feeling that they are cared about.
Children are born with the capacity to act kindly toward others. Those who experience respect and appreciation from adults are more likely to demonstrate caring towards others and to recognize the positive impact of their kindness. Adults play a vital role in whether, or not, children continue to act n kind and caring ways.
If we, as parents, at warmly and supportively if we set reasonable standards of behaviour and consistently enforce them. Then we are more likely to encourage kind and compassionate behavior in children.
Always remember that we become a caring person by doing caring things!
Show appreciation; treat small things as important.............
People want approval and recognition for what they have accomplished, If someone helps us in anyway, we should tell him/her how much we appreciate his/her actions. These helpful actions may not be repeated if we do not show our appreciation. Everybody enjoys being praised. People look for praise from others, but we should Only praise people when they deserve it and our praise should be warm and sincere.
There are few things that we can accomplish totally by ourselves.............
We are not automatically cooperative. We often have to learn how to make someone's else work or play easier. This learning takes place slowly, but the foundation can be laid early in life. We can create opportunities for the development of cooperation. Being a model is one of the best ways to teach cooperation because children imitate the actions of people who are important for them. But, as television, movies, books, recordings and videogames. We need to make an effort to screen media and choose only those that show good friendship, unselfishness, giving, and/or acts of kindness.
Integrity is practicing what we believe.............
Integrity is not a value that is simply passed on. It is something that must grow inside us. Integrity is like a code of honor. If we have integrity, it means that we have certain values and beliefs that we consistently live by it. It is also mean we respect the values and beliefs of others.
Children need to understand that integrity is a process and not a quick fix. We need to draw a line, but make room for errors, since everyone makes mistakes. Having a margin for error before we step out can be difference between losing a dew yards in a game and losing the game. The key to maintaining integrity is through accountability, and being responsible for the commitments we have made. Integrity means keeping our word, and "cleaning" up if we let someone else down.
Respect everyone, because everyone is important.............
Show your regard for other people's feelings or possessions. This is an attitude that we should constantly display, because showing respect to others a big part of how we demonstrate our character. Children learn how to value other people and institutions from their parents. Parents who put down other people are teaching their children that other people are unimportant. We should be aware that the way we treat our child sets an example for how our child should treat others. If we want tour child to respect the rights and feelings of others, we should start to begin by respecting or child's rights and feelings.
Tolerate differences, and accept them.............
We need to be tolerate as we explore the world and meet new people. Home is where learning about tolerance begins, but it need be practiced in public. Tolerance is the value that may be the most difficult thing to teach to our children, mainly because we need to teach them also not to tolerate everything around them indiscriminately.
Limited exposure to others with different backgrounds and differing views allows prejudicial attitudes to fill the void of knowledge and acceptance. What we don't know can be frightening and what frightens can make us defensive and offensive.
Children do not learn kindness by accident. They learn it by the teaching they receive, the way they see others interact, and by practicing gentle treatment to others. Teaching children to think of others takes vey little effort. These are plenty of opportunities in daily life.
The great humanitarian, Albert Schweitzer, suggested that adults teach children in three important ways: The first is by example., the second is by example, and the third is by example. An undeniably truth about parenting is that children learn best by example-the "monkey see, monkey do" approach, not "do as I say".
Because children learn constantly from the words and actions of adults around them,
There are many actions that we, as parents, can do promote good character in our children.
Five Simple Strategies for developing positive character in your child:
- Always say "please" and "thank you" to anyone and everyone, as the universal characteristic of an individual with high self-esteem.
- Express your appreciation of all and any kindness.
- Remain calm when things do not go the way you want, and find solutions to problems that are fair to everyone involved. Wait your turn especially in a queue.
- Respecting children's points of view and really listen to what they have to say. Always give them your full attention.
- Always greet people with a smile/ A smile establishes our own self-worth, and shares it with others.
Balance.............
Without enjoyment, life lacks meaning.
There is more to life than school.............
Schooling should not be the only focus of a child's life. A child's overall well being depends on more than just academic achievement. Effective parents teach their children to balance their intellectual, physical, emotional, social and spiritual needs.
Well-chosen hobby or leisure activities can improve a child's leadership, communication and time management skills. They can improve health, help children to develop important personal connections and make new friends and expose them to the wider community.
Most importantly, children are encouraged to have fun.
Teachers and parents can work together to assist children in pursuing a well-balanced lifestyle. School performance should be separated from a child's other life style activities. Parents should help their child choose activities which give them enjoyment, and allow them to pursue their own interests.
Careful guidance fosters responsibility in a child.............
A child's character development takes place through daily interactions, and is influenced by all the activities they engage in, both formally and informally. Effective families and effective schools consider the "whole" child. The average child is typically involved in activities at school, activities in the community and activities with family and friends.
When children are small, parents provide structure to their child's personal activities, such as limiting the places they can go (ensuring they are safe.), providing access to leisure activities and so on. However, children should be given opportunities to choose their own interests, leading to empowerment and self responsibility.
Creativity comes from letting children be themselves.............
A child needs to develop their self expression. For some, it is achieved in writing, for others, in music and for others again, through visual arts. Whatever shape it takes, a child's creativity needs to be nurtures and they need to be given the freedom to discover their own form of expression. Children should be given the freedom to discover their own form of expression. Children should be allowed to trust their instincts and gain confidence in expressing themselves. This confidence carries over into decisions they make in other areas of their life.
Creativity leads to expression because, as a child creates, they access what they think and believe. Creative activity combines the energies of feelings, imagination and thought. It improves the capacity to think in different ways about challenges and opportunities.
Children need to feel safe when they express themselves creatively.